No Sex Toys on the Corporate Card Please

Nothing shocks us anymore. Or so we thought, until news of a woman expensing a vibrator hit the web this week.

Many employees abuse their expense accounts this is a fact. There have been stories of a 3 year-old’s $20,000 birthday party and a $5,000 casket for a relative’s funeral paid for with company money. Headlines noting the too common tale of executives expensing strippers don’t surprise most of us—even Barron’s, a corporate cousin of FiLife, has made the headlines.

We’ve heard the outlandish explanations of some of these purchases before: Strippers make clients happy, and when clients are happy they are more likely to part with their money. But a vibrator? How do you explain that one? She must have really needed it. She must have also really needed to expense her electricity bills, phone bills, an iPod, jewelry, and her credit-card payments.

Her inflated report probably set off alarm bells, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can get away with something more subtle. According to the American Express 2006 Expense Management Benchmark Survey, about two-thirds of the 250 companies polled said that they were looking at expense reports more carefully than in past years. Padding can result in job terminations, fines, legal action and, of course, you’ll probably have to pay the money back (the vibrator chick owed $15,000 for her myriad of purchases).

Every company’s policy is different, so if you’re not sure about a purchase, ask your boss. But vibrators are not part of the deal, even if they make you perform better at work.

In case this is confusing for anyone, the rules here are fairly simple: Expense accounts are for job-related expenses only, like taking a client to lunch or paying for a plane ticket when you need to travel for work. Sometimes you can expense business clothing or charge books for research.